Fresh Adventures
Mission: Health Center
Megan Daily '12
Issue date: 3/25/09 Section: Distractions
"Minnesota," replied Pinkeye.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Your accent is so thick I thought you were an international student," replied impatient and now-sassy girl.
Pinkeye gave her the most incredulous look through the pus and crust. I simply pretended to be asleep to avoid the brewing health center brawl. But luckily, before things came to blows the nurse called my name and beckoned me into the examining room.
I sat down and before I could speak I had a thermometer jammed under my tongue. She then proceeded to interrogate me. She did not ask normal nurse stuff like, "where does it hurt?" or "how long have you been feeling bad?" Ohhh, no. She asked if I knew about the hazardous effects of alcohol. She asked if I knew that my immune system cannot heal when I am downing liquor. She then asked if I did drugs. It is very hard to answer questions when you have a digital temperature device in your mouth. So I just forcefully nodded my head and coughed. I would have started to cry if I thought that would make her stop her rant about the devil's juice.
I was sick. I was sober. I am an athlete so I had been dry for weeks. And there was this woman, not caring that I had a 102.3 fever but more worried that I had been shotgunning beers in my room all day. But I was planning to forgive her inquires about my social life and personal life decisions as soon as she gave me drugs.
After her lecture, she went into the medicine cabinet and filled up a brown paper bag with all sorts of pills, tablets and syrups. Internally, I rejoiced at the prospect of getting back to my room and loading up on medicine and letting the healing BEGIN!
Just as I was skipping out of the Health Center, the Nurse calls out, "By the way, you have to stay down here for the night." So began my imprisonment.
I had to spend the night in a white room with plastic sheets. I was awoken in the middle of the night by getting jabbed with a thermometer. And I had to walk back to my room on a Thursday morning and get the stares as I walked shoeless back to my room.
Needless to say, now I will have to be inches from the grave to brave the fearsome place that is the Health Center.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Your accent is so thick I thought you were an international student," replied impatient and now-sassy girl.
Pinkeye gave her the most incredulous look through the pus and crust. I simply pretended to be asleep to avoid the brewing health center brawl. But luckily, before things came to blows the nurse called my name and beckoned me into the examining room.
I sat down and before I could speak I had a thermometer jammed under my tongue. She then proceeded to interrogate me. She did not ask normal nurse stuff like, "where does it hurt?" or "how long have you been feeling bad?" Ohhh, no. She asked if I knew about the hazardous effects of alcohol. She asked if I knew that my immune system cannot heal when I am downing liquor. She then asked if I did drugs. It is very hard to answer questions when you have a digital temperature device in your mouth. So I just forcefully nodded my head and coughed. I would have started to cry if I thought that would make her stop her rant about the devil's juice.
I was sick. I was sober. I am an athlete so I had been dry for weeks. And there was this woman, not caring that I had a 102.3 fever but more worried that I had been shotgunning beers in my room all day. But I was planning to forgive her inquires about my social life and personal life decisions as soon as she gave me drugs.
After her lecture, she went into the medicine cabinet and filled up a brown paper bag with all sorts of pills, tablets and syrups. Internally, I rejoiced at the prospect of getting back to my room and loading up on medicine and letting the healing BEGIN!
Just as I was skipping out of the Health Center, the Nurse calls out, "By the way, you have to stay down here for the night." So began my imprisonment.
I had to spend the night in a white room with plastic sheets. I was awoken in the middle of the night by getting jabbed with a thermometer. And I had to walk back to my room on a Thursday morning and get the stares as I walked shoeless back to my room.
Needless to say, now I will have to be inches from the grave to brave the fearsome place that is the Health Center.
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 3
C'mon
posted 4/01/09 @ 7:19 PM EST
Actually, Robert Burns said "the best laid schemes of mice and men gang aft agley." Steinback alluded to the poem in the title of his novel. It would be awesome if that wildly innacurate quotation were the least of this article's problems. (Continued…)
Virginia Beach Movers
posted 5/27/09 @ 11:00 AM EST
Amusing story, I've never heard of people having to actually stay there overnight but I suppose that's a safer way to go than allowing you to go back to the dorm and infect other people. (Continued…)
Ildiko
posted 6/07/10 @ 10:21 AM EST
An interesting story, I like such literary sketches. The charm is that they don't need to be continued.
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