Put it in your ear: THE EXTENDED PLAY
Colin Garner
Issue date: 5/19/05 Section: Distractions
Enough nonsense, enough unruly banter, lets talk about something that matters. Yea, I'm talking about Jack Bauer, professional agent, incredible human, man of frighteningly good looks and the star of 24, the greatest television show ever to grace our cable airwaves. You can excuse the Fox Network for all of their midget vs. animal fighting, rat eating contests and slanted politics, they really got this one right.
My first experiences with Jack began approximately two years ago. I was scolded regularly by my roommate (Liam "I am whipped by my girlfriend and travel 8 hours to see her at the drop of a dime, plus my Abs are flabby" Murray), for not following the show. Luckily, I came into a copy of the Season Two DVD set. Armed with only my recliner, popcorn, and my soul, I sat and watched twenty-four straight episodes of action packed anti-terrorist adventure. The next morning, as episode 24 concluded, the sun showed its face beyond the hills of our fair town, and I knew things would never be the same again.
Season Three approached and I met Jack again with open arms. We embraced over snack and beverage, a weekly encounter that defined my existence. We shared in President Palmer's heroics, the loss of Chappelle, the relationship of Tony and Michelle...the things that really matter in the world.
With just two hours remaining in Season Four, I stand poised to accept whatever heartbreak or tragedy is in store for us. A nuclear warhead is in play, Jack hardly has a lead, his girlfriend hates him for killing her ex-husband and I have never been happier. Luckily I am not the only one. The "Apostles of Jack Bauer" can be found across this campus and throughout the States. Facebook groups have formed to celebrate its majesty, my parents have caught the fever and Kiefer has never been better (unless of course we consider his groundbreaking performance in the teenage vampire flick, The Lost Boys).
That was fun, however, I have something even more enjoyable, I am talking about Johnny Depp, and Tim Burton. I am talking about a remake of the greatest children's film to ever hit the silver screen. It is Willy Wonka time children. You can have your Kingdom of Heaven, I don't want your religious war. I want some chocolate, a golden ticket, a meal in a piece of gum, and a wall covered in snazzle-berries.
My first experiences with Jack began approximately two years ago. I was scolded regularly by my roommate (Liam "I am whipped by my girlfriend and travel 8 hours to see her at the drop of a dime, plus my Abs are flabby" Murray), for not following the show. Luckily, I came into a copy of the Season Two DVD set. Armed with only my recliner, popcorn, and my soul, I sat and watched twenty-four straight episodes of action packed anti-terrorist adventure. The next morning, as episode 24 concluded, the sun showed its face beyond the hills of our fair town, and I knew things would never be the same again.
Season Three approached and I met Jack again with open arms. We embraced over snack and beverage, a weekly encounter that defined my existence. We shared in President Palmer's heroics, the loss of Chappelle, the relationship of Tony and Michelle...the things that really matter in the world.
With just two hours remaining in Season Four, I stand poised to accept whatever heartbreak or tragedy is in store for us. A nuclear warhead is in play, Jack hardly has a lead, his girlfriend hates him for killing her ex-husband and I have never been happier. Luckily I am not the only one. The "Apostles of Jack Bauer" can be found across this campus and throughout the States. Facebook groups have formed to celebrate its majesty, my parents have caught the fever and Kiefer has never been better (unless of course we consider his groundbreaking performance in the teenage vampire flick, The Lost Boys).
That was fun, however, I have something even more enjoyable, I am talking about Johnny Depp, and Tim Burton. I am talking about a remake of the greatest children's film to ever hit the silver screen. It is Willy Wonka time children. You can have your Kingdom of Heaven, I don't want your religious war. I want some chocolate, a golden ticket, a meal in a piece of gum, and a wall covered in snazzle-berries.