Two Raging Intellectuals
Flav and Dubbs
Issue date: 3/16/05 Section: Distractions
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So sorry for the week off but we just felt our s*** has been slippin' as of late. Hopefully after our little hiatus we will be able to hit you with that goodness to which you had grown so accustomed. Besides, our editors have begged for our resurgence. And I loosely quote "You all better write an article this week. Tidley[winks] is suffering without your genius and dashing good-looks." So let's just get right down to it.
I'm very familiar with March Madness, but I didn't know everyone else suffered from it too. What's the deal?
-Bemily Eallengee
Really? We had no idea you were so familiar with insanity. Regardless, unlike your brand, this March Madness only happens once a year. And just so ya know, we are only talking about the most exciting basketball tournament of the year dummy. To win you have play more games than we play hoes. And ya never know how its gonna turn out. So why bother making any predictions.
Instead, we got to thinking, what if the tournament happened at W&L and the field consisted of individuals, not teams? Here is a taste of some of the more popular hoops awards applied to our wonderful little town. .
Cinderella Story: The Roots playing in the heart of southern aristocracy. Only KKKU and Nazi College had less of a chance of attracting these superstars.
Biggest Upset: The biggest upset of the year happened to occur just the other night. At Rancor, we witnessed Drew "I can't see outta my left eye" Flemming absolutely get his bitch-ass pounded to the ground by Will "no thicker than the joint he just blazed" Butler fresh outta pledgeship.
Biggest Choke: Mike Baracco blowing his chances with Ann Stewart. Way to eff it up with one of the coolest girls ever, IDIOT!
The 6th (wo)Man Award: For those who don't know, the 6th man earns his dap by working hard behind the scenes and making his presence felt when the time is right. We have to give the nod to none other than the DJ C(urious)C(arlson) who not only turns the party out, but also is quite fond of ear-licking (We know a perfect match up at Doublewide for you), ladies. If you're ?urious about that, holla at (310) 403 5593.
Champion of the World: Aquavelva DUH. Stop by for the SoCo party (consider us regular Van Wilders) Wednesday night and see why.
Tournament That Really Matters: the NIT bitches. Watch for Maryland and Indiana to meet in a battle reminiscent of the 2002 NCCA Championship - a bout of epic proportions.
Anyway, we can't leave without mentioning a couple of hotties we are looking to befriend (in the bedroom).
Dubbs: Emily Haight. First off, I'm violating the rules 'cuz I know you, but I made your wish to be in here come true, so how about you grant some of mine. ..1) Make-out 2) Touch your boobies 3) I think you know where this is going.
Flav: Carolyn Harrold. Dubbs always rolls home good and happy from the Lodell Hotel. What do I gotta do to get a room key?
I'm very familiar with March Madness, but I didn't know everyone else suffered from it too. What's the deal?
-Bemily Eallengee
Really? We had no idea you were so familiar with insanity. Regardless, unlike your brand, this March Madness only happens once a year. And just so ya know, we are only talking about the most exciting basketball tournament of the year dummy. To win you have play more games than we play hoes. And ya never know how its gonna turn out. So why bother making any predictions.
Instead, we got to thinking, what if the tournament happened at W&L and the field consisted of individuals, not teams? Here is a taste of some of the more popular hoops awards applied to our wonderful little town. .
Cinderella Story: The Roots playing in the heart of southern aristocracy. Only KKKU and Nazi College had less of a chance of attracting these superstars.
Biggest Upset: The biggest upset of the year happened to occur just the other night. At Rancor, we witnessed Drew "I can't see outta my left eye" Flemming absolutely get his bitch-ass pounded to the ground by Will "no thicker than the joint he just blazed" Butler fresh outta pledgeship.
Biggest Choke: Mike Baracco blowing his chances with Ann Stewart. Way to eff it up with one of the coolest girls ever, IDIOT!
The 6th (wo)Man Award: For those who don't know, the 6th man earns his dap by working hard behind the scenes and making his presence felt when the time is right. We have to give the nod to none other than the DJ C(urious)C(arlson) who not only turns the party out, but also is quite fond of ear-licking (We know a perfect match up at Doublewide for you), ladies. If you're ?urious about that, holla at (310) 403 5593.
Champion of the World: Aquavelva DUH. Stop by for the SoCo party (consider us regular Van Wilders) Wednesday night and see why.
Tournament That Really Matters: the NIT bitches. Watch for Maryland and Indiana to meet in a battle reminiscent of the 2002 NCCA Championship - a bout of epic proportions.
Anyway, we can't leave without mentioning a couple of hotties we are looking to befriend (in the bedroom).
Dubbs: Emily Haight. First off, I'm violating the rules 'cuz I know you, but I made your wish to be in here come true, so how about you grant some of mine. ..1) Make-out 2) Touch your boobies 3) I think you know where this is going.
Flav: Carolyn Harrold. Dubbs always rolls home good and happy from the Lodell Hotel. What do I gotta do to get a room key?